Chartreuse Ova

scrambled lamentations, psalms, parables and ramblings of a Christian mommy

Monday, February 19, 2007

Confessions Part 3

I confess that some days I have stood at the door and refused to knock.

I confess that I have stood at the open doors that present themselves outside my local church and refused to step through.

I confess that I have meekly accepted responses I interpreted as my interest doesn't fit what the church wants/needs...perhaps I could be doing something else or that my passion doesn't have a place within the structure of our church. I confess that I used it as an opportunity to wrap up my gifts tightly and safely when I should have been standing up and speaking out. This is my sin. These are my gifts, my calling, my responsibility to journey with Christ.

I confess that I've looked to the approval of and validation by others and often ignored the voice of God giving me words of truth.

I confess that I have taken the easy, convenient road even when I felt the leading towards a more challenging path. I confess that I did not trust enough to walk into a dark unknown future but chose the well-lit and more acceptable route.

And as one might expect from the above words and Parts 1 and 2...I confess that I am a woman without a denomination and potentially without a church to call home. Sometimes that feels overwhelming...not having a connection. But in this moment it also is strangely freeing.


Blogger LutheranChik said...

The point about paying more attention to the validation of others and less to God's call...ouch! Been there, done that. (I suspect I might be living in that neighborhood now, in fact.)

8:11 AM  
Blogger Sally said...

Prayers for peace and clarity are with you- in regards to the need for tradition you mention in Confessions 1 , I really understand that....thank you for your openenss.

3:20 AM  

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