Chartreuse Ova

scrambled lamentations, psalms, parables and ramblings of a Christian mommy

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

So This is Spring: A Flurry of Thoughts

  • It is a beautiful Spring day. Really!
  • Usually Darling Hubby (UDH) was the first to notify me. Four to Six. Then David or Bob (the local weather guys) upped the ante to Five to Seven. Later it was Six to Eight and then possibly more. SNOW. It is everywhere. And it is beautiful.
  • I'm am pondering the dream I had a few nights ago. All I remember is my shoe was coming apart. I live in walking/running shoes and in the dream, the sole was peeling off right from under my foot. When I told UDH, he smiled. I said, "Yeah I know. I'm in danger of losing my sole." Fortunately, I'm confident my soul is secure. Still I feel like some other parts of me are being peeled away. My soul is exposed and I feel vulnerable.
  • I'm still processing Maundy Thursday communion with the denomination of my childhood. As I was walking out, the pastor put her arm around me and said there would always be a place for me there. Sounded like something my mom said when I moved away from home. I went out to my car and cried. All kinds of tears. Sadness, joy, fear, all was pouring out.
  • Tomorrow afternoon, I am scheduled to meet with the pastor of the church I sometimes still attend and where UDH is still very actively involved. I didn't request the meeting, but I hope it will help me clarify a few things. One part of me wants to take a list, a hammer and a nail...but since we'll probably meet at a local coffee shop instead of behind the church's door, it would probably lose all meaning. The other part of me is begging for God to change something within me, or the church, or the I can take the easy path of silence and concession. Mostly, I just pray the Holy Spirit will guide me to the place I can best serve. The place I need to be. And I pray that I will follow where God shoes are ready. Is my soul?
  • I am happy today.


Blogger zorra said...

How did it go today?

You never know what God is going to do. I would not have thought in a hundred years that I would ever return to the denomination of my childhood, much less in any sort of leadership role. But I've come to see it as an example of God's sense of humor. God's not through with you or with your old denomination. Or with the church you are in now, either.

(Have you ever said you would "never" do something? I think that's God's favorite word, and God loves to respond, "No? My dear, watch this!")

6:50 PM  

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