Chartreuse Ova

scrambled lamentations, psalms, parables and ramblings of a Christian mommy

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

When I was a Child...

Although there is the Lion Kingish "Circle of Life", I believe we experience this life in a spiral. Surrounded by God, we move inward, outward. We seek and search our selves. We reach out and touch others who are creating their own spirals.

Often we revisit ideas and dreams of the past. But it seems that most of our path continues onward leaving the past behind. It's that old adage about not being able to go home again.

Here are some of the recent & not so recent "spirals" of my life in no particular order:

  • Last night was the fifth Tuesday in a row that I met with a small group at Church of a Different Denomination, also known as a Church of My Childhood/Early Adult denomination. This group is meeting for 6 weeks to discuss the spiritual journey and explore spiritual practices. In previous weeks we talked about spiritual formation, sharing our faith stories, lectio divina, and breath prayer. This week was about community and holy listening.
  • I ended up in this group because I was seeking something missing in my spiritual life. Something I wasn't able to provide for myself. Something I wasn't sure God could provide in our relationship. Something my local church wasn't providing or I hadn't figured out how to access it. Something, I couldn't even label.
  • Last Summer, I shared with Pastor of Church I Currently Attend (or was Regularly Attending then) about the call of my early adulthood. The call I ignored for the most part. The call that came while I was still a member of Childhood Church. The call in that long ago denomination, that I left without animosity. We discussed how my life had changed since then. And how this might impact that calling. I remember saying, "It's not like I can just go back and pick up where I left off." And he agreed.
  • Two months ago or maybe more, I began what I call the Litany of Common Ground. Or perhaps that would be the Lamentations of Common Ground. Usually Darling Hubby would call it the start of the Age of Annoyance. The daily questions. Repeated often throughout the day. Always on my mind. In my prayers. Almost always on my lips. "I need to find the common ground." "What do you see as the common ground?" "Is there a common ground here?"
  • I kept encountering the phrase, "common ground". And not just in my prayers and in my unending discussions with UDH.
  • Last night, I saw it again. On a page. In a small group. About community. "We learn to respect others and celebrate common ground."
Common ground. It is a celebration. Not a sad, desperate struggle to dig up some area of agreement. It is the overwhelming weight that inspires respect for our differences, not something to just balance out the negative.

While the title of this post seems to refer to I Corinthians 13, I think I'll end it differently.

When I was a child I had a spirograph. I enjoyed watching the spirals develop as the pen circled and colors mingled.

And I still do.


Blogger Kievas said...

I enjoyed spirographs as a kid...not so much these days.

3:54 PM  
Blogger Maria said...

I resonate with your litany/lament over common ground. I've been travelling some similar spirals lately, and it's the sense that I'm not only off the beaten path, but possibly wandering around in circles that makes me a little crazy sometimes. Tonight I read something that reminded me that spiritual growth is often experienced like a helix. Seen in two dimensions, it looks like a circle, but in three, there's an upward progress, too. Let's hope.

11:41 PM  
Anonymous lorna (see through faith) said...

we still have spirograph - the teens have outgrown it but I haven't - it was a wonderful invention for its era ... and I used to play for hours didn't you? with different coloured pens!

The idea of a spiral and double helix is interesting maria. Reminds me of our dna - there's so much hidden but every part needed

As for not going back and picking up where you left off - of course you can't CO - but that's not what God intended anyway - His plan is that you pick up as you are now, with all that you've learned and experienced between now and then and with new found maturity and Christlikeness

Keep listening, and keep moving towards Him :)

11:34 AM  
Blogger Songbird said...

If you mean you can't go back to pick up and explore a call you had earlier in life, I would disagree. Many, many people in various kinds of ministry have denied or pushed aside God's call only to find it persists. When God calls, God does not disappear just because our circumstances or fear or stubbornness made us feel we could not respond. I pray that you will continue to find places you can explore what God would have you be and do.

4:07 PM  
Blogger chartreuseova said...

Songbird, it has persisted. When I made that statement to the pastor I was speaking very literally in that I couldn't go back in time to that church and follow that straightforward path. As a young adult who'd grown up in a moderate church denomination that was ordaining women and had some understanding of its process, the pathway was easy to see.

To me it meant the pathway would look different, not that it no longer existed. I'm not sure that the (more conservative) pastor was actually agreeing with that or interpreting it differently.

6:32 PM  

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