Good Googley!

I find things on the internet. I enjoy it. Perhaps you might call it a hobby. Or maybe it is an obsession.

I've tracked down old stuff like historical facts, genealogies and friends I haven't talked to in years.

I find new stuff about technology, the latest research and the even newer critiques that question its validity for faulty research or statistical techniques.

I dig up really obscure info about topics only a few of us in the world seem to care about. I can find info on birthing with a Russian speaking midwife in the black sea and how to make vegetarian scrapple. Although I haven't found the name or artist of the Christian contemporary song that sounds much like Britney Spear's "Oops I Did It Again", I'm sure I will someday when I finally figure out the correct google phrase to unlock that bit of non-essential info. Or maybe someone will send me that info and I can move on to searching for some other useless bit of info.

I find important, mind-bending, eye-opening information on the web. I was googling for "women ministry" when I discovered the RevGalsBlogPals and many of the blogs in the ring. That discovery led me to many other google searches. Google opens so many doors!

So this morning I was thinking about the word "humanity", what it really means and it's origins. I guess I could have just gone to an online dictionary but instead I decided to google it.

My search was for: humanity definition roots.

The first page came onto my screen. It included:

terrorism
exorcism
philosophy of war
crimes against humanity
sinfulness of humanity
pain & psychosis from the rape of humanity
history of science fiction

Obviously not what I was seeking and I need to rethink my search. The results are still quite enlightening. Does google define our culture? No, but I think it provides a glimpse into our collective thought and word patterns.

What has become of humanity?

If I can't find it on google, is there hope that we can find it in our world?

Trivial Pursuits

We like playing trivia games in our house, so here's the trivia question of the day:

"Please change the channel. PLEASE, PLEASE, change the channel."
What would elicit such a plea from Little Sprout?

A. She wanted to watch Clifford, The Big Red Dog?
B. She doesn't like Justin Timberlake or his music?
C. MOM!
D. Maybe a combination of B and C...mostly C.

And the correct answer is D.

Okay, so she knows I can't dance. But did she have to beg me to stop. Was it really that bad?

Mom's funky dance moves. Yeah it was really that bad, but fun!

The Conversation

I'm awake a 5 a.m. thinking about knock, knock jokes; Avon cosmetics; Reader's Digest and God. What's the common thread? It all comes together in a conversation. A conversation that began over 20 years ago. Here's the condensed version.



Big G: Knock, knock

Startled CO (chartreuseova): Who's there.

Big G: God calling. Here I have something I want you to do.

Startled CO: What? Are you kidding? Did you see what happened to that other woman who tried to do that? Did you see how she was treated?

Big G: Yeah, I was there.

Startled CO: Well, I'll think about it.



Big G: Knock, knock!

Nervous CO: Who's there?

Big G: God, calling again.

Nervous CO: Yeah, I've been meaning to discuss that last project you suggested.

Big G: You mean the assignment I gave you about 2 years ago and you said you'd think about it?

Nervous CO: That's the one. I did think about it. It sounded exciting but not a good idea for me at the time so I put it on hold...but I've got this other idea that I think you'll like...



Big G: Knock, knock!

Sad CO: I know it's you God. I haven't been talking to you much lately. Things just don't seem to be working out well right now.

Big G: Yeah, I know. It has to do with that other idea you had 5 years ago, doesn't it?

Sad CO: Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all. Could you tell me what I should do?

Big G: Perhaps you should reconsider the original plan?

Sad CO: Sorry God, I didn't quite hear you. I'm a bit distracted, I think I've come up with another idea.

Big G: Well we will talk again later.

CO: Yeah, later.



Big G: Knock, knock.

Sick CO: Can't talk much right now God. I'm not feeling well.

Big G: When you decide you need to talk, you know how to reach me.

Sick CO: Maybe when I feel better.



Big G: Knock, knock.

Confused CO: Well, I guess you know that last idea wasn't any brighter than the previous one.

Big G: What made you think it would work?

Confused CO: It was the practical thing to do and I told you I was considering two different plans and asked you which I should choose. But I didn't hear from you.

Big G: You gave me your plan B and your plan C. What ever happened to My plan?

Confused CO: Well your plan seemed outdated, no longer doable, not to mention how inconvenient it would have been. I kinda assumed I'd been mistaken about that plan. You know you don't always speak clearly enough for me to hear.

Big G: And sometimes you're not listening!

Confused CO: About listening...did you get that prayer? Were you listening? Because when you didn't tell me which one of my plans was the one to follow, I went with the logical solution. And even though you didn't seem interested in my life at the time, I distinctly remember praying just before embarking that you'd let me know if that was the right choice. And you didn't tell me not to do it.

Big G: I didn't tell you to do it either. Maybe that's because we needed to discuss it more. What happened when you charged forward without me?

Confused CO: Well, right after I began, this happened. Then later, that happened. I kept pursuing my goal but it was like someone was putting up lots of roadblocks. It was such a struggle. Well you know the story. Crash and burn. Why didn't you let me know that was the wrong path?

Big G: I let you know. You weren't listening. If you are ready to listen, let's talk some more.

Confused CO: You certainly can't mean that again.

Big G: Yep!



Big G: Knock, knock!

Still confused CO: I know what this is about, I don't know where to begin even.

Big G: Well I'll let you think about it, again. Just don't get lost in thought and other plans.

Praying CO: Thanks God. And God, I'm sorry for disobeying you.



Big G: Knock, knock.

Praying CO: Yes, God I'm thinking about it, almost constantly. And I'm working on the listening thing too.

Praying CO: You know I still have a long list of excuses and lots of doubts.

Big G: We'll work on them together. We will move forward slowly, just follow My voice.

Praying CO: It is going to be so hard. Did you see what happened to that other woman who tried to do that? Did you see how she was treated?

Big G: Yes I saw. I was there with her. I am with her. And yes I will be there with you.

Baby Brother

I got to pick out your first name. Mom said that's what big sisters do when a baby brother is on the way.

Such a big responsibility for a six year old who could barely write her own name. But I took the task quite seriously. I think I took everything seriously at that age. Maybe it was because I was already old enough to understand a bit about life and death. Suicide, Presidential assassination, personal trauma and surgery were part of my early memories. And of course I knew about new life and how mommies went to the hospital and brought home a baby. My aunts had done that not long before and now we were going to have a baby at our house.

I remember going to school on a cold morning in January, 1966. Then coming home and spending the night with one of my best friends/neighbor. I remember the excitement even if I don't remember all the details.

I remember the years since then. Fighting over toys; sharing jokes and pranks; working on 4-H projects together; arguing about politics, religion, and which television show to watch; and going to auctions together in search of treasures. In short, I remember the blur of growing up.

In the end, you towered over me, but you were still my baby brother. And it didn't matter that I moved half way across the country or that you turned 30. I still remembered that birthday that made you my baby brother.

And I remember the phone call that I had known would be coming soon. It was September 10, 1996. I remember the words, "It is over". Mom was barely able to say more.

Ten years.

How can it be over ten years since we chatted on the phone each week and compared silly stories of our lives. Ten years since your liver couldn't handle one more day. Ten years of cursing the alcohol that took you away as we watched, unable to change the course.

Ten years and I still miss you, baby brother.

In Loving Memory

Terry J.

January 16, 1966-September 10, 1996

Fairly Simple Friday Five

Another Friday Five from RevGalBlogPals

This Friday Five is Fairly Simple. Name five things you have enjoyed this week.

Watching TV through tears. More specifically, seeing Andre (does he need a last name?) play his last match and retire. Sharing it with my daughter and explaining why he was crying and why I was crying.

Listening to Little Sprout read. I've been learning about the Sun this week. I can't wait to see what books and subjects next week will bring.

Tasting the luscious organic tomatoes from our Community Supported Agriculture share. They were the perfect addition to salad and sandwiches this week. I'll be sad when we only have the choice of store-bought produce in mid-winter.

The feel of doggie-boy's fluffy fur and wet nose, usually darling hubby's rough stubble and soft lips, and Little Sprout's never enough hugs.

The smell of coffee after a too short night.

What's it all about?

After so many words in my last post, it seems I no longer have anything to say.

Oh yeah, if only it were true that there was silence in my head. Silence with a single whisper perhaps.

The cacophony continues with voices from the past and present. I think my own voice is lost in there somewhere. And as I try to hone in on the voice of God, my focus waivers.

My mind continues to meander the way it has always done. This, then that and back again until I'm off on another tangent.

Why is it when people say, "It isn't about _______ (fill in the blank)." in the absence of an accusation that it was about ________ (fill in the blank), that I am suddenly suspicious of the agenda and motive. There have been so many of those conversations through the years with such a diversity of people in my life.

No, I never thought that it was about:

• power
• money
• gender
• sex
• racism
• pride and/or vanity
• your selfishness as you think I perceive it
• my faults as you perceive them
• them versus us
• who gets more
• worthiness

But since you brought it up, perhaps I should first consider that as a possibility before I reject it based upon your protests.

Perhaps I should write that down on a note card and carry it with me...not so much to read it off to others, but as a reminder to me.

It isn't about________

How do I fill in the blank?